Broken Heart Healing Hints
By Susie and Otto Collins

Kara is pretty sure that she will never be able to love again. Finding out that her fiance, Greg, had been cheating on her for over a year with an acquaintance of theirs pulled the rug from under her feet and tore her apart emotionally.

Since her breakup with Greg, Kara has been able to do little more than go to work during the day
and then collapse into sobs and tears every night.

As you might already know, when your heart feels broken, life can be literally swallowed up by pain or numbness from the grief you are experiencing.

When the one you love has betrayed you by having an affair or betraying you in some other way, everything you thought you knew to be true is shaken up and, sometimes, your life seems like it will never be pleasing again.

As upset as you might be, there is probably a part of you-- perhaps deep inside-- that wants to feel better again. It might be difficult to think about anything other than how torn up you feel inside.

But we're betting that you also would like relief from this pain and upset.

In her post-breakup stupor, Kara is having a difficult time moving past what happened and how distraught she is about it.

Right now Kara and Greg were supposed to be planning their wedding and their happy future together.

She was not supposed to be sitting here starting at old photos and crying!

The trouble is Kara feels stuck in the past. Greg's
cheating and their breakup shook her to her core. How could this happen to her?

She wants to feel better but mostly feels nothing but pain and emptiness about the ended relationship.

Allow your feelings and let them move through you.
Right now it might seem challenging to you to do more than just get through your day without collapsing into those raw feelings that seem never ending.

You'd like to experience some emotional relief and maybe one day even be happy again-- but that seems far far away.

We recommend that you allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling right now. This might be unwelcome advice and you may feel done with the grief and tears.

When you allow your feelings, make it your intention to let them move through you.

Keep yourself focused on your feelings themselves and less on the stories or details of events that you might link to the emotions.

It is sometimes easier to release difficult emotions when you focus on the feelings and keep breathing. After you've cried, for example, you might take a deep cleansing breath and then do something different than you usually do.

Step outside and talk a walk in the sun. Spend some time with a friend or family member who is an uplifting person.

When you combine allowing the flow of your feelings with a different than usual action, you can often more easily release from the stuck place you've been in.

Stay present and engaged with life.
Kara has started going to the gym several evenings a week. She still cries and even finds herself looking through old photos from time to time.

But she is beginning to really look forward to the wonderful feel of the pool water as she swims or the rhythm of the treadmill under her feet as she
briskly walks.

Kara is not exercising to avoid her feelings. She makes time for whatever emotions arise within her. But she finds that this new routine is helping her to get out of the past and come back to the present moment.

It physically feels great too!

Find an activity or practice that helps you re-engage with life in the present moment. You might begin meditating or join a soccer league.

Consider taking a class at your local recreation center to learn a new hobby or craft if that interests you.

The idea behind this hint is not to deny the sadness or grief you might be feeling.

Instead, it's to give you something in the here and now to re-focus your attention upon-- preferably something that is interesting or pleasing
to you.

Make note of improvements.
When you feel less upset or consumed by grief than usual, make a mental note of that. Congratulate yourself when you feel some relief or improvement in your life. This is a sign that healing has taken place.

Build upon this sense of improvement and know that you can feel this way more and more of the time.

When you have days that are more difficult, be patient with yourself and know that the relief will come when you try hints such as those we've shared with you here.

Remind yourself that you have been happy in the past and that you will be happy again in the future. It is possible and you are worthy of feeling happy and loved.