Prevent Infidelity from Happening
AGAIN in Your Love Relationship or Marriage
By Susie and Otto Collins
Sandra and Joseph feel like they are just starting to get
marriage back on track.
After Sandra had an affair with a
dated in college, both she and Joseph did a lot of soul
within themselves and communicating with one another.
Things are still a bit shaky between them, but every day
future together looks a little brighter.
The trouble is, Joseph is still hesitant to fully trust
was deeply hurt when she betrayed him by cheating. He does
to experience that kind of hurt ever again.
Both Sandra and Joseph have vowed to do whatever they can to
infidelity from happening again. The challenge is that
them knows exactly how to do this.
Can you truly prevent infidelity from happening again (or
the first place) in a love relationship or marriage?
This is a really good question...and we have a hopeful
First, we're going to tell you what you cannot do. If your
cheated in the past, you cannot make future choices to cheat
cheat) again for him or her. You also cannot force your
These decisions are all up to your partner.
You can, however, prevent infidelity from occurring.
You can look honestly at your own habits that might be
to disconnection in your relationship.
When they arise, you
interrupt your old patterns that moved you two apart and you
out new ways of being with your partner. You can then
continue to do
those things that seem to help you two move closer to one
You can also support and encourage your partner when he or
steps toward trustability and re-connection.
Here are a couple of other things that you can do to prevent
Too often, once a couple has been together for a period of
two people fall into usual patterns.
These aren't always
negative patterns, but sometimes they are. No matter how
the patterns are, too much of even a good thing can become
boring over time.
Think about how excited and rejuvenated you feel when you
greeted in your life with a positive, unexpected surprise.
It might be that a co-worker buys donuts for everyone one
that sweet treat perks up your morning.
It could be that you
into an old friend on the street and the two of you laugh
You walk away feeling uplifted and joyful.
You can bring that sense of uplift, renewed aliveness and
adventure to your love relationship or marriage-- even if
together for decades.
Be willing to put yourself out there and get creative.
in the bedroom as you two make love or when you offer
what you two could do for a date night together, be spontaneous.
Experiment with new ways to greet your partner after you two
been apart. Be romantic, sensual, goofy or fun.
drawn to try, if it can potentially spice things up in your
relationship, do it!
There are some aspects of your relationship that are not a
to be spontaneous and surprising about. There's nothing dull
boring about being very consistent when it comes to these
In fact, if you want to prevent infidelity from happening
it's a good idea to even be predictable in these specific
Of course, we're talking about creating consistency around
things as trust, communication and your agreements with one
When one (or both) of you feels as if the other cannot be
to follow through and keep promises-- i.e. be consistent--
and resentment can form.
The person who feels mistrusted might begin looking outside
relationship for another who will trust him or her and not
critical or disappointed.
The person who believes that the
will always let him or her down will only become more
this is so. This could lead to even more conflict, anger and
When there is inconsistency in how you and your partner
other when it comes to keeping your promises (even the
and building trust, the chances of another affair happening
Be willing to be consistent AND be spontaneous.
help you and your partner to move closer together and create
of relationship with one another that you've always wanted.