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Relationship Advice for Men: "I'm afraid that I've lost her
to another man!"
By Otto Collins
Jason never ever thought that this would happen.
When an acquaintance told him that she saw his long-term
girlfriend
in the arms of another man, he initially dismissed it as
just a
rumor. But, the "rumor" turned into worrisome suspicion when
Jason
noticed that his girlfriend, Erin, was acting strangely.
He began to pay attention to Erin's behavior more closely
and what
he saw upset him. Recently, she has been more secretive and
distant
from him than ever before.
What Jason used to think was just
Erin
being busy with a new position at work is now real suspicion
that she
is cheating.
Jason is afraid that he's lost the love of his life to
another man
and he doesn't know what to do about it.
If you suspect that your woman is lying to you and possibly
cheating
too, you might be feeling a confused and upset. In fact, you
might
have already taken action based on your suspicions.
Perhaps you confronted your partner and accused her of lying
to you
or having an affair. Maybe you have remained silent about
it, but you
have been checking out her story to make sure it all adds
up.
What you probably want most is to know-- once and for all--
what is
going on so that you can decide your next move.
Get clear and reliable facts.
It will not help you and it certainly won't help your
relationship
for you to go off and confront your woman (or another man)
about an
affair when you don't have reliable proof to back up your suspicions.
Take some time to get very clear about what you do know and
what you
don't yet know. It's not necessarily wise to dismiss a gut
feeling,
but it's also not wise to act on it without checking it out
first.
It's helpful to come up with a baseline record of how your
woman
usually acts, looks, dresses, communicates with you, is
intimate with
you and other information.
This baseline is your point from
which to
compare how she usually is and how she is now.
Just because she's changed does not automatically mean she's
cheating. It is, however, a place to gather more
information.
Follow any trail of inconsistencies and see where it leads.
What if she isn't having an affair?
If you don't find any evidence that she is having an affair,
there
still might be cause for concern about your relationship.
Whatever
made you suspect that she was lying or cheating in the first
place
could be an indicator of disconnection between the two of
you.
Again, try to get to clear and reliable information. Don't
rely on
assumptions about what you guess might be causing her to
pull away
from you.
Instead, think about what has possibly changed about your
relationship by noticing observable actions (or lack of
actions).
Also, take a look at the habits that you've always had that
may have
finally driven a wedge between you and your woman.
Before you communicate with your partner about your worries
that you
have "lost her," try to be clear within yourself about what
is really
going on.
Then, bring to the conversation an understanding
of habits
that you two might want to change and any propose agreements
you'd
like to make with her.
Make your decision.
Ultimately, you need to decide whether to stay in this
relationship
or to leave it.
There are plenty of examples of couples who
have
rebuilt trust and their relationship after lying and
infidelity.
There are plenty of couples who have drifted apart from one
another
and then turned things around.
There are also plenty of examples of couples who, for
whatever
reason, were not able to rebuild trust and regain their
connection.
You need to weigh your collection of facts and reliable
information
and listen well to yourself and to what you want most for
your
future. This will help you decide your next move.
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Get tips and information for how to
improve your
relationship with
your woman.
Otto Collins teaches men the secrets to lighting
up
their woman and offers a free report: "The 10 Biggest
Relationship &
Passion-Killing Mistakes Men Make and What To Do About Them"
when you
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at http://www.LightHerUp.com
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