How Spying Can and Does Change a Love
Relationship or Marriage
By Susie and Otto Collins
Jessica is desperate to know the truth.
Her boyfriend Bob has been acting weird lately-- he's been
more secretive and distant. It is more and more difficult
for Jessica not to think that he's cheating.
She has considered asking him upfront, but something inside
her questions whether she would believe him. This wouldn't
be the first time that Bob has been evasive or dishonest
So now Jessica wants to know if he is having an affair.
They've been together too long for Jessica to just throw
away their relationship because of worrisome suspicions--
she always thought they'd marry one
On the other hand, Jessica doesn't want to waste another
minute with Bob if he is lying and cheating.
She is considering spying on him to find out the truth.
Spying on your partner can have significant effects on your
love relationship or marriage.
If you are considering spying because you want to know
whether or not your mate is lying and possibly cheating,
there are a few things you need to consider first...
- If you are caught spying, any trust the exists in your
relationship might be destroyed.
- If you are caught spying, your partner may become really
upset with you.
When you spy, you are violating someone else's privacy.
When you spy, there is a potential for breaking laws-- you
could be fined or even go to jail.
There is no guarantee that your questions will be
sufficiently answered by spying.
We aren't trying to frighten you or tell you that it's not
From our experience working with countless individuals and
over the years, we know that there are times when the only
obtain reliable information about your suspicions is to spy.
We encourage you to really think about these risks you are
take BEFORE you check your partner's phone records, e-mail
networking accounts or take some other spying action.
Please consult with an attorney if you have concerns about
legality of what you are about to do.
Have you already made up your mind?
One initial question to ask yourself before you start to spy
this: "Have I already decided that my mate is (or is not)
If you have, how firmly is this assessment fixed in your
When you set about gathering information, you really need to
open a mindset as you possibly can.
Of course, you aren't
approach this in a completely unbiased way-- otherwise, you
have had suspicions in the first place.
Take some time to check in with yourself about how much your
might already be made up about these questions.
Some people find that they are already gearing up to leave
relationship. They are done.
If so, you might not feel the need to spy after all.
This is your decision to make. There just as many possible
to support you not spying as there are to support you
Can you keep the door to rebuilding trust open?
Jessica has weighed the risks of spying. She's also
she is still very confused and uncertain about why Bob might
acting the way that he is.
For this reason, Jessica has decided to spy.
She is not sure
she will get more information, but she does notice that Bob
lot of time on the internet-- even when she is over at his
a dinner date. She may start there.
The tricky thing about spying is that most people spy
is weak in their relationship. As we mentioned above, spying
cause even more damage to trust.
If there is a chance that you want to stay in this
you'll probably need to rebuild trust sometime in the
As you choose how you will go about gathering information to
assessment of what is really going on with your partner, try
a door open to potentially rebuilding trust.
This can be a fine line to navigate.
Again, we can't make this determination for you. We can't
for sure if reading your partner's private e-mail is more or
destructive to trust than literally following him or her
These answers have to come from within you.
The point we're really trying to drive home here is that
should not be taken lightly.
It is a sometimes necessary
getting your questions answered.
We advise you to take this step fully knowing the risks,
possible alternatives first and making the most
decision you possibly can.
Would you like more help dealing with your suspicions?
for Susie and Otto Collins' FREE report:
"The 12 Biggest
Relationship-Killing Mistakes You Could Be Making If You
Man Is Lying or Cheating"